vineri, 11 iulie 2008

Daca e Joi, sa fie nunta!




Astazi, la ora 12 cand m-am trezit nu imi imaginam ca linistea micului cartier Colentina avea sa fie perturbata de mii de decibeli si onomatopee minoritar-etnice. Am trait in necunostintza de cauza pina pe la ora 14:00 cand primele acorduri de orga tziganeasca si vioara electrica mi-au atins timpanul. Plin de nervi ies pe balcon... si... pula nu se vedea nimic doar se auzea si incepea sa vina din ce in ce mai tare, nici geamurile termopan (semn de bunastare la romani) nu mai faceau fatza. Daca am vazut ca nu are rost sa ma lupt cu prostia din colentina am decis sa plec dracului din cartier, dar nu inainte de a-l coopta si pe Avaton. Am ajuns amandoi la concluzia ca astazi nu e zi de stat acasa. In timp ce petrecerea rromilor ne gonea pe noi cat mai departe de odioasa strada, Rascoala 1907, in acelasi timp atragea zeci de alti curiosi din aceiasi etnie si nu numai, sa fie partasi la unirea celor doua suflete tziganesti in celula de baza a societatzii.




Doua ore am stat plecati departe, si cand zic departe ma refel la cartierul Berceni, in cealalta parte a Bucurestiului, cu gandul ca la intoarcere nu vom mai gasi strada blocata, tziganii in mijlocul ei si zgomotul pe post de muzica in boxele ca de concert pe stadion. Pentru ca eu am dormit mult si bine (pina la 12) a trebui sa aflu de la alt cineva cum au decurs pregatirile pentru cumetria stradala. Ca sa intelegetzi mai bine: Dis de dimineatza a aparut o lada frigorifica pentru inghetzata la coltul strazii si un draft de bere, imediat linga lada s-au ridicat semetze cateva umbrele brandate frumos, un baiat ruda cu mireasa cunostea pe cineva de la firma cu pricina si a facut rost mai ieftin de umbra pentru lautarii letargici. Guristii, ca de ai vorbeam s-au adapostit de soarele canicular sub nucul batran din gradina blocului 17 scara 1 si au pornit oribilul spectacol imediat ce nuntashii au pasit pe covorul rosu intins de la scara blocului pe troutar, coborat in strada si urcat la loc pe trotuarul de vis a vis. "Rosu, pentru cã carteru e plin dã vedete".


Lume multa, prostime, masini scumpe, masini si mai scumpe, lautari cu talent gata sa-si sacrifice vocile pã sistem. Totul era pregatit, putea sa inceapa dansul penibilului. Dupa cele doua ore petrecute prin alte parti am zis ca este momentul sa ne intoarcem acasa cu gandul ca s-a terminat porcaria. Nici gand, am ajuns in mijlocul petrecerii, spiritele erau incinse la maximum, toti tziganii din cartier se adunasera cu mic cu mare, unii pe garduri, altzii prin copaci unii calare pe masini doar sa asiste si ei la concertul ilustrului necunoscut pentru mine, dar faimos, celebru si bogat pentru ei (tzigan borât). Printre spectatori am observat si un tanar cocalar cu pofta de mincare, omu isi cumparase doua pitza la pachet si se folosea de prtbagajul unei dacii 1310 pe post de masa pentru a-si astampara foamea in timp ce nu-l slabea din ochi pe solistul cu veleitatzi de macac (asta e o maimutza care scoate niste sunete incredibil de urate). Partea buna la nunta asta de rahat a fost ca au reusit sa blocheze tot cartierul deoarece una dintre intersectiile principale a fost baricadata la propriu de Esiuviurile, Bemveele si Mercedesele crem, albe sau visinii (culori ce se poarta acum) ale rudelor cu potentzialul material expus cat mai la vedere.

Citez: "Baaa, io am mertzan, am bani, am aur... fac ce vreau!" Replica rostita de unul dintre tzigani catre echipajul de politie care statea degeaba si astepta ca paranghelia sa se sfarseasca deoarece era a treia oara cand au procedat conform legilor in vigoare si au amendat scursurile societatzii perturbatoare de liniste publica fara nici un rezultat concret. Si ca tacamul sa fie complet si politzistii sa se simta cu adevarat neputinciosi, cand a trecut Avaton pe linga masina lor le-a zis asa: "S-au pisat astia pe legile voastre ba !" Ca sa fim in continuare martorii evenimentului ce va avea precedent am decis sa mergem pe bloc de unde sa fotografiem si pe mire si pe mireasa, sa dam cu 2- 3 pietre sau macar sa aruncam o punga plina cu apa , dar cum noi facem parte din cealalta categorie de oameni, adica aia civilizatzi am decis ca este mult mai inteligent din partea noastra sa ne revoltam aici, in spatiul virtual pentru ca oricum nu am fi schimbat cu nimic situatzia. Ce e prost prost ramane pina la moarte.

Noi pe bloc aruncam cu HUUUUO catre minoritari in timp ce batranele, gospodinele si soferii de camion din blocurile vecine erau jumatate pe geamuri sa vada ce "nunta frumoasa" se desfasoara pe strada lor. Unele chiar au iesit cu scaunelul in fatza blocului ca sa fie mai aproape, sa vada si ele ca cica din curiozitate potzi sa si mori daca nu esti atent!

Casa cu gratii si copii recidivisti !





28 de comentarii:

ces spunea...

apropo de cocalari...

La o tziganca ii venise sa nasca in intersectie…..un politai sa o ajute o incuraja: - Hai k poti impinge! Tiganca avea gemeni .Scoate primul capul afara din pasarica se uita, intra la loc si ii zice celuilalt: - Coaie, hai prin spate k pe aici sunt gabori!



multumesc.


aaa si drepturi tot nu mi-am primit x(

Anonim spunea...

ba astia din cartier voi este prosti

Anonim spunea...

eu zic ca in fiecare joi pana la sf maria sa plecat cu mic cu mare din cartier sa va refugiati in vama

ces spunea...

ba eu cred ca tu te inrosesti si cand scrii cu "anonim"..

de ce nu postezi cu numele tau?esti timid?

fantomel spunea...

da si eu knd am venit de la munca nu am avut pe unde sa trec din cauza la nunta cocalarilor...si ce am mai injurat....futele nunta....
cu dedicatie pt ei linku urmator :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDg3nI01k-s
il am si la URL :P

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